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Day 17 Notes: Midlife Crisis

June 20, 2013 by  

Trying to reinvent ourselves

Midlife Crisis

Sometimes we just want to get away from everyone else.

Let’s try to make an outline:

  • Changing Jobs
    • Age 18-42
      • Most change jobs 10+x
    • Over life
      • 7 careers?
    • Definition problem
  • Why change careers
    • Money
      • Job outlook (market dwindling)
      • Economy downturn
      • Want more money
      • Better offer
    • Work environment
      • Co-workers & Boss
      • Boring-challenge
      • Stress
      • Glass Ceiling
        • Socio-Political term
        • Less women & minorities at highest levels of corporations
        • Glass = unbendable
    • Life Changes
      • Have a baby
      • Sandwiched generation
        • Care for your parents
        • Care for your kids
      • Skipped-generation family
        • Grandparents raising children
    • Unemployed
      • Older you are, longer not hired
      • Baby Boomers
        • 40% of work force
        • Born 1946-1964
  • Burnout
    • Psychological issue?
      • Not in DSM
    • 40% of workforce?
    • Symptoms
      • Less interested in work
      • Less pleasure in accomplishments
      • Exhaustion
    • Maslach Burnout Inventory
      • 3 dimensions
      • Exhaustion (energy)
      • Cynicism (involvement)
      • Inefficacy (efficacy)
    • 12 phases, not necessarily sequential (Freudenberger & North)
      • 1. Compulsion to Prove Self
      • 2. Working Harder
      • 3. Neglecting Personal Needs
      • 4. Displacement of Conflicts
      • 5. Revision of Values
      • 6. Denial of Emerging Problems
      • 7. Withdrawal
      • 8. Obvious Behavioral Changes
      • 9. Depersonalization
      • 10. Inner Emptiness
      • 11. Depression
      • 12. Physically collapse
    • Burnout Prevention
      • Organization
        • Healthier work life
        • Workload, control, reward,
        • Community, fairness & values
      • Individual coping
        • Resting
        • Temporary less work hours
  • Midlife Crisis
    • Midlife transition
      • Reassessment related to age
      • Life halfway over or more
    • Triggered by:
      • Andropause or Menopause
      • Death of parent
      • Unemployment
      • Underemployment
      • Never wanted to be a lawyer
      • Reassess achievements
      • Reconsider dreams
      • Want to make significant changes
    • Midlife Crisis occurs in about 10%
      • Many people reassess
      • Not based on age
  • Divorce
    • John Gottman
      • Marital Stability
      • Reconnections
        • How fight
        • How make up
      • Happy couples
        • have unresolved conflicts
        • 69% have “very same” ones 10 years later
      • 4 predictors of divorce; 4 major behaviors not to do
        • Criticism of other’s personality
        • Stonewalling (withdrawal)
        • Contempt (disgust)
        • Defensiveness
      • 7 Principles of what to do
        • 1. Enhance Your Love Maps
          • store info about partner (dreams, hopes)
        • 2. More Fondness & Admiration
          • Respect & appreciate diff.
        • 3. Turn Toward Each Other
        • 4. Let Partner Influence You
        • 5. Solve The Solvable Problems
        • 6. Overcome Gridlock
        • 7. Create Shared Meaning
  • CARL ROGERS (1902 – 1987)
    • Self
      • Self gradually emerges
      • From interaction w/ sig. others
    • Self-concept
      • Part of phenomenological field
        • gradually become differentiated
      • Object of perception
      • Real self vs self as perceived
        • Experiences are symbolized, ignored, dined or distorted
        • Become subconscious
      • Shouldn’t threaten integrity of child’s self-concept
        • Accept child’s feeling
    • Congruence
      • Symbolized experiences reflect all actual experiences
      • When congruent, person is free from inner tension
    • 2 basic needs
      • positive regard by others
      • positive regard by self
    • Self-regulation
      • 3 steps to control own behavior
      • 1. Self-observation
        • Track own behavior
      • 2. Judgment
        • Compare what see w/ standard
        • Rules of etiquette
        • Personal rules
      • 3. Self-response
        • Reward self
        • Punish self
    • For some
      • Self-regulation is self-concept
      • Self-regulation is self-esteem
  • Humanism
    • Reaction to behaviorism
      • Which was a reaction to Freud
    • Focus on:
      • Growth & fulfillment of individual
        • genuineness
        • acceptance
        • empathy
  • Self Control
    • Compliance = do what told
    • Respect
  • Walter Mischel
    • Delayed Gratification
    • Marshmallow Study
      • 1 small reward now or 2 small rewards if wait 15 min.
      • Little kids can’t wait
        • Can wait longer as get older
        • Can wait longer for preferred items
      • 4 yr olds (600 children)
        • Few ate immediately
        • Most delayed 3-5 min, then age
        • 1/3 delayed 15 min & got 2nd marshmallow
      • By 5
        • Use active distraction
        • Use self-talk (tell self rule)
      • By 12
        • Use abstract thinking
        • Distract from reward
    • Elderly
      • Less self-regulation
      • Less impulse control
      • Decline in reward-delaying strategies
    • Self control or strategic thinking

 

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